Dear Mary Jane

I am a 35 year-old male who has been wrestling with some very serious issues within my life. However, those issues I have resolved for myself. Yet, the very same issues are not resolved within society. I feel like the world is against me and my wife. The rudimentary things that we attempt to carry out every day seems to be thwarted from every single direction. We have very little “true” support from our families and our jobs when it comes to our relationship, and who we are as a couple. When around family members, no one asks how my wife is. The same applies to my wife’s family. It is almost as though we are a non-entity. Even though we are truly committed and very happy with our relationship, I do not feel the inclusion like other couples feel. We even feel snubbed when attending social gatherings such as office parties and holiday gatherings. We feel like a side-show in a three-ringed-circus. Right now, we both are saving money for a down payment on our first home. We both have many dreams and aspirations for a very happy future. For instance, we both would like to have a home where we can begin a family. My wife is incapable of physically having a child. But, her inability to have a child is not our main worry. What should we do about the situation with other people who see us as an oddity? I get the distinct feeling that the majority of couples out there think we’re strange, different and are not worthy of the same treatment others enjoy in life. My wife believes that everything is going to eventually fall into place in regards to how others see our relationship. I, on the other hand, see a life of ridicule, hardship and turmoil, but remain committed to my wife and our dreams. What should we do? PS — I failed to mention that my “wife” is also like myself, a man. I wrote this in this way so that you as the reader could truly think about what me and my partner are dealing with. Now, are all the answers you were formulating within your mind still apply?

Hey, fuck you and your pretentious, victimized attitude! First of all, know this: I don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck if you’re gay, straight, or both. Secondly, everything - everyfuckinthing - you do has a consequence. I choose to smoke weed. I even went out and got an actual doctors note for it, but you know what? The cops don’t give a shit about my doctors note. My parents could care less either. In their eyes, it’s just wrong. But you don’t hear me bitching and moaning about how horrible my life is because I decided to get a ganja prescription. I didn’t choose to love marijuana, we just met and fell in love. But you did choose to get married and then flaunt it in front of people you know aren’t comfortable with it. Why don’t you put yourself in an environment where you feel comfortable and at ease? If you don’t have support from your family and friends, then be proactive; go somewhere with a support group or a LGBT community. Find gay married friends, find liberal married friends, do something! The longer you sit there with your “Woe is me” attitude the harder you’re making life for yourself. The world isn’t against you, baby, you’re just letting it get to you. Come live with me in Cali, we love gays in my house.

dearmjane@gmail.com