Dear Mary Jane

I started working last year an I made heaps of new friends — one in particular. He’s 18 and I just turned 15. We started of as friends and about a month in he asked me out, I made excuses so I didn’t have to go out with him. Well we’ve been hanging out and once again he asked me out. I made up excuses again. You see, I really like him but don’t want to do out with him. I like the fact he is a hot, older guy, who drives me around. So this went on and on.I lead him on for about a year. Then one night I suggested we go take his new car out for a spin, we ended up an hour away from home and at the beach. We had never done anything, not even kissed. So when he started to make a move on me it was confusing. I didn’t give in for a while. I started getting really cold and he suggested lets go to the car. Being as naive as I am, I hopped into the back seat and we sat there arms around each other. He started doing things and before you knew it we had sex. And now he wants it from me all the time. I still won’t go out with him. I want to be just friends. I do not love him. He says he loves me. I believe he does. But I am just not at that place with him. I don’t want to have sex with him and I want him to leave me alone and stop texting me and bothering me. How can I make him leave me alone?

You weren’t being naïve, you knew exactly what you were doing and now you regret it. Boys act on impulse, body language, and the amount of blood flow to their dick. So when you do things liiiike I dunno let’s say: not telling him when he kept asking you out for a gotdamn year, suggesting a to “take his new car for a spin”, down at the secluded romantic beach, not stop his advances on the fuckin beach, OMG and then suggesting to jump in the backseat when you get cold!! Holy shit, where do I even begin with you, girl?! Here’s a preventative lesson and fuckin pay attention! If you don’t make your words clear, stern, and immediate boys will keep following their instinct. If you’re confused about the situation then stop it. Don’t lead boys on because eventually they won’t listen to your wolf cries anymore. Ladies, now if you don’t know exactly what you want or don’t want then don’t put yourself in the situation where a boy makes those decisions for you. Because every single time a boy will think with his dick. Now about your new problem… You’re gonna need to cut him loose. You can’t keep stringing him along. You already sexed him so you can’t go back to the friendship level anymore. If you don’t want to be with him, use your words like a big girl and cut your losses.

dearmjane@gmail.com