Dear Mary Jane

Let me just start out by saying that me and my boyfriend have only been going out for a short time, but have known each other for a long time. I asked him Thursday if he wanted to go to a movie and he said okay, so that was my plan for Saturday. So Saturday comes around and I go up to the movies and call him to see where he is. Well, he says he can’t make it. Yet I hear his friends in the background, boy and girl. Completely bummed, I set for home, seeing is how he promised he wouldn’t do what he did again. You see, this is about the third time he’s done this. And he only wants to come over when he has nothing to do. He recently told my friend that we were in love, but he’s never said it to me. I don’t know how to react to all of this. It’s just making my day much more complicated. Might I also add, I really do like him, he’s unlike any other guy I’ve met before. And I kind of have a big feeling he likes me too.

No, baby, he’s not in love. Believe me, I was “in love” with someone who didn’t love me back for 3 years. 3 years - down the drain!! There are tall-tale signs that guy is using you and the major one is promising he’ll never do it again after every single time he does it. Did you really think, standing outside the movies alone hearing other people on his side of the line, that he didn’t mean to stand you up? Not only did he know, he doesn’t care. He promises there won’t be another time because he knows he can get away with it every time. Enough of this loser! You need to get some self confidence and self respect. You can’t keep letting him walk all over you. Every time you accept his apology, it tells him that you don’t care about the way he treats you and gives him leniency that he’s looking for. You need to stop him dead in his tracks. No more asking him to movies, no more sitting by while he plays with his friends, no more letting him get away with shit. Put him in his muthafuckin place - find a kennel somewhere dark and cold, lock the door, and swallow the key. And don’t regurgitate it til he proves he’s worth it.

dearmjane@gmail.com