The Deadline For Dating
I lost my husband of 21 years in Dec. 2005. I miss the warm contact, hugs, kisses, not necessarily the sex. There is a man that I have known for the past 10 years that I think likes me. He always goes out of his way to say “hi” and chat a few minutes. He asked me to a picnic saying I need to get out of the house and I went and enjoyed myself. He was a gentleman. His friends and relatives on the other hand were raw but funny. Bikers! He has never made a pass at me. He’ll hug me if I ask and I ask a lot of people for hugs. I love hugs. But, I need warmer hugs and kisses and am not sure if he wants our friendship to go that far. I know I am not ready for sex. I have too many issues with myself, such as my weight. Nights are lonely and no one calls to ask me to do anything with them. Should I let him know I am wanting this and how? Am I ready to date—no, I don’t think so—too soon. But I sure do miss the closeness of someone that cares for me.
My advice for you is to let go of your ex husband and get back in the game. I think 5 years is a good enough mourning period. You ARE ready to date, you’re just afraid to break out of your shell and start another relationship. You don’t necessarily have to be ready to date, to open up to this guy. However, you need to let him know what you do want before he makes his mind up about what he wants from you. A cuddle-buddy never hurt no body and it’s a good way to get comfortable with him, which will let you open up more to dating, sex, or just nightly spooning. Hopefully, this guy you’re with will be able to coax you out of your shell, but don’t get your hopes up. You can’t expect him to open up to you and put his hard on away every time you just want to cuddle, because you’re sending him the message that he’s not good enough or you’re not ready yet. And once a guy gets that message, he closes up and retreats. Guys are just as delicate as you are right now so keep his feelings in mind.
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